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We Love You~A Community for Those Left Behind

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hey [Jan. 30th, 2007|03:04 pm]
We Love You~A Community for Those Left Behind

silent_grieving

[inhereyesifall]

...although i'm extremely good with words, i'm at a complete lack for them right now...

i'm 25/f/go to school in upstate NY...

...my ex girlfriend's best friend killed himself a few days ago....he was my age, actually. and just...yah. 
i can offer my support and say i'll go to the wake/funeral, but that of course is a very personal thing and i won't be offended if they don't want me to be there....

watching this...still being in the same house as my ex g/f, while all this goes on( friends coming over to drink/grieve); is quite the dichotomy. on the one hand, im her ex g/f and good friend, and on the other hand, i've been where D was...and it's so scary to see *exactly* how it would be if god forbid, anything happened to me. 

its jolting to say the least. this happened a few days, and i was the pillar of strength until last night. 

tom-> trying to get her brother to sing "Free Fallin'"

i just broke down, hard core. and i felt like i was invading their right to greive, by crying myself. ( they, as closer friends/family) but M's uncle said no ,and said just to let it all out. tom petty definitely helped with that...

love and empathy to all...

sorry im usually way more put together than this.

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: luciferinchains
2007-02-02 04:02 pm (UTC)
Don't worry about being "put together" right now. Something like this takes all of your strength and composure and says, 'No ya don't!'

Listen... your feelings are yours... your grief as sacred as theirs. One of the big mistakes people make when dealing with losing someone to suicide is to try to deny your feelings or your right to feel them. When I found out that Lisa died, I spent a good two or three months telling myself that it shouldn't be so bad. I hadn't spoken to her in almost a year already, it was July and she killed herself in December. She was just an online friend, I said to myself... and the identity she gave me was fictitious.

I also went through telling myself that she was in pain. That fictional identity was actually part of a serious dissociative disorder, on top of a cornucopia of other mental illnesses. Wasn't it selfish of ME to be in pain over this?

I fell into such a deep depression myself that I lost my ability to do ANYTHING. I didn't get better until I allowed myself my feelings.

In other words, M's uncle was right. You might not have been close to her... but you knew her and, it would seem, cared about her on some level. Your feelings are 100% valid...


((((hugs)))))
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[User Picture]From: luciferinchains
2007-02-02 04:03 pm (UTC)
In other words, M's uncle was right. You might not have been close to her... but you knew her and, it would seem, cared about her on some level. Your feelings are 100% valid...

HIM. I apologize. I was thinking of Lisa still when I wrote that...
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[User Picture]From: inhereyesifall
2007-03-01 06:06 pm (UTC)

hey

thank you so much..i seriously apprecicate the response...sorry, i didnt really check it a lot lately...

* add me if you want* =p

norabear
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